Ni sat in her car with her head bowed down. Her heart was racing, palms sweating and it suddenly seemed like she couldn’t breathe anymore. S
he was having a panic attack. ‘Shit!’ she exclaimed in frustration as she tried to take deep breaths to calm herself. Tolu must be waiting inside’ she thought.
Resting her head back on the driver’s seat, she took her mind off everything else and she just focused on her breathing. Little by little, she could feel her sanity coming back to her. ‘I can do this’, she whispered. ‘I am strong enough.’ In no time, her breathing was back to normal and she could think again.
Looking at the time, she saw that it was twenty minutes past nine. ‘Sh^t!’ she exclaimed as she got out her compact mirror from her purse. Taking a quick look to double check that everything was in place and being satisfied with what she saw, Anita jumped out of her car and began to walk towards the bar as fact as her legs could came carry her while still maintaining the ‘I can’t be phased’ demeanor.
Getting into the restaurant section, she let her eyes scan the entire room until they settled on him at their favorite table. ‘Mmm’ she groaned. She could breathe easy again despite the loud hammering that was going on in her heart. Again, she groaned. Was it possible that Tolu had gotten finer in few weeks? While lost in her thoughts, a waiter stopped beside her asking if she needed someone to help her out. ‘No, thanks’ she said just before she walked over to where Tolu was sitting.
As soon as he saw her, he smiled sweetly and stood up giving her a hug. ‘Hi, Ni’ he said. ‘It’s good to see you again.’ Somehow, she felt slightly emotional. She never thought that day would come when Tolu would be a little more than a stranger to her; or when she would be nervous about meeting him. Ni put herself together and took her seat as he motioned. ‘Sorry, I’m late’ she said. I had to attend to some things’ she lied. ‘It’s okay.’ Tolu said. ‘I was beginning to wonder if I had imagined that phone call this afternoon so I wasn’t sure about calling to confirm your where about.’
‘Ahh.’ Tolu laughed. ‘That’s what happens when you miss someone so close to you.’ ‘You missed me?’ Ni asked before she could control herself. ‘So, so much.’ Tolu answered, not pausing even for a second. ‘Who wouldn’t miss the kind of friend that calls you up randomly at 2am because she wants to ‘catch up’ not minding that you both have work the following the day?’ ‘Tolu…’ Ni started before he interrupted. ‘I’m sorry, Ni. I messed up… We had a deal and I should’ve at least honored my part as you honored yours’ Tolu said. After a moment of silence, he said ‘I just needed to say that.’
Ni nodded. She felt the weight over her heart lessen by just a bit ‘Thank you, Tee. I appreciate.’ He nodded ‘Where do we go from here, Ni? Can we still find our friendship? I mean, we haven’t really been more than f*ck buddies for a while now. Do you even want to try… cos I do, Ni. I want to try to be friends with you. I might not have it all planned out but I’m sure that I don’t want to lose you in my life. Not now and not anytime soon.’
Ni looked at the man that she loved with so much confusion. Was this the same Tolu who couldn’t ever make a mistake by revealing his emotions while they were sleeping together? Was he the one now telling her what he wanted and what he felt? ‘If only…’ she thought. ‘If only you had shown me a bit of this person when we were together… maybe, I would’ve fought harder for your heart and won.’ At a loss for words, she just sat and watched him wishing things were different. She was pulled out her thoughts by his touch. ‘Ni, are you alright?’ She nodded. ‘I’m fine. And I… want to try to be friends with you too.’
‘Yayy!’ he said with fake enthusiasm mimicking her in her happy state. She laughed at the absurdity of it. In a serious tone, he said ‘Now, I can breathe easy.’ Oh, to that… she could relate.
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