Back in his office, Tolu was still trying to come to terms with what he had done. He was weighing the pros and cons of being with an employee and wondering if he was allowed to cross that line.
Just then, his phone rang. The caller ID said ‘Ni’ and he did not want to pick up. What was the irony that she chose that moment of all moments to put a call through to him? Before he could think of picking up, the phone had stoppped ringing.
He smiled knowing that she would definitely call back again and in about a few seconds, she did just that. He picked up. ‘Hi, Tolu‘, she said. ‘Hey, Ni’, he replied. ‘Where are you? Are you still at the office because I’m…‘ He knew where it was headed and he wasn’t in the mood for it. He feigned a yawn ‘Uh, No. I’m actually on my way home, babe. I’m exceedingly tired and I haven’t been sleeping well so I need a little extra time to sleep.’ She paused. He could feel her disappointment from all the way over and with it came some guilt within him.
‘Well, that’s a shame‘ she said ‘I’m here with your favorite wine and I thought… Uh, never mind T. Some other time perhaps.‘ and she cut the call. He felt bad but he definitely wasn’t in the mood to be with any other woman that night. He was about to get back to his work when he remembered the break in her voice as she was speaking.
He went over the conversation in his mind again. She had sounded emotional. That was unlike Ni. He called her back. She picked on the first ring ‘Tee?‘ ‘Are you okay, Anita? You don’t sound like it.’ She said ‘I don’t know. I’ve just been feeling so… I don’t know how to explain it. I…I just don’t want to be by myself tonight. I… I want to be held‘ Tolu was shocked. Ni had never shown him this vulnerable side. She was always so confident and so sure of herself. He remembered Amaka and how things with her were getting serious but he also knew that he couldn’t say no to Ni. He said, ‘Give me about 20 minutes so I could get back… then come over.’
He used the time to round up his work and take a quick shower. He was just resting on his couch when he got a call from security. In a while, she was walking in. One look at her and he knew why security had called. She was wearing an oversized T shirt with baggy pants and she had a face cap on covering her beautiful face. She didn’t look like the feisty, sexy Ni that they had gotten accustomed to seeing. Wow, she was really feeling terrible.
As soon as she walked in, she walked over to the couch and she sat down beside him. ‘Hey‘, she said. He reached out to her and before too long, she was resting on him. He tried to give her a peck but it ended up on that cap that covered up most of her face. She wasn’t saying anything but he could feel her heartbeat as she held onto him. He didn’t like her countenance. It was too intense and it could rub off on him. ‘Babe, do you want to talk about it?’ She shook her head. He didn’t know what else to say because they had never been in this place before so he just sat there holding her.
Much later, she lifted up her face towards him. Her eyes were hidden so he could only see her lips moving ‘Tolu?‘ ‘Mmm?’ ‘Please, make…make love to me. I don’t want to think about anything tonight. Please.‘ The helpless tone in her voice was clawing at his heart more than he would have liked to admit. She had never had to beg for it before. He took of the face cap completely so he could look into her eyes. She looked scared. Maybe she was scared that he wouldn’t agree because they didn’t ever cross the line… it was always just good s*x between them.
Looking into her eyes, he saw things that he didn’t want to see. He saw her pain, he saw her loneliness and he saw her helplessness. What was so weird about it all was the fact that a part of him could connect to it. Throughout all this, Ni didn’t look away once. She let him see it all as scary as it was for her. Somewhere in all of this, Tolu’s heart had begun to warn him. It was too intense and too real. Did he really want to? Before he let go, he told himself that it was going to be just one night. That night, it wasn’t just about pleasure, it was about comfort and intimacy.
He knew what he was doing when he promised to always be there her and when he told her how beautiful she was to him; he meant it when he told her that she deserved the best and when he said that she wasn’t ever going to push him away but did she mean it when she said that she would cherish moments of that night forever or when she said that it would be difficult to give herself to any man after him. Did she mean it when she begged him to go deeper and invade her thoughts completely? Did she mean it when she called him ‘the only one’… And what did that mean?
Three… maybe four hours later, he saw off a thankfully quiet Ni to her car. When she turned around to say goodbye, she obviously wanted to say more but she held back and he was thankful for the words that were left unspoken. After seeing her off, there was nothing left to do than get into his car and drive home.
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